How I went from a dancer, to personal trainer, to helping thousands of women get the body they love.
What many of you may not know, is that before 'The Petite PT', the loyal clientele and best-selling online ebook... was the professional dancer who was desperate to get her diet under control, and scathingly negative towards her body.
Fresh faced after graduating Trinity Laban, London with a BA (Hons) Degree in Dance Theatre, I tumbled into the professional world of daily class, rehearsals and performances. On stage, dancers appear serene, elegant and measured but behind the scenes its a very different story. Training is ugly, hard, messy, sweaty and highly competitive, and as a career requires a tremendous amount of skill, determination and strength - both physically and mentally. Despite touring both nationally and internationally two years into my dance career, I made the decision to step off the stage.
Embarrassed of the truth, and for fear of judgement, I'd come up with any plausible excuse I could think of; but the true reason I quit is one that I have kept close to my chest for many years, and one that greatly informs my work as a Personal Trainer.
The truth is, at the time I quit I had been suffering from an eating disorder for about six years. I hated my body. In fact, I despised it. My thighs were too big, my legs too short, my boobs too large and hips too inflexible. I did not fit into the dance aesthetic, and all the will in the world would not allow me to look like the beautiful, elegant dancer that I desperately wanted to be.
One night after reaching an all time low, I penned a letter announcing my resignation. I won’t go into details about my disorder as I know that many impressionable young girls, like my 16-year-old self, look for unhealthy weight loss tips through the stories of those that have recovered, but all I will say is that I was deeply unhappy, and knew that I had to take my final bow.
No longer spending eight hours a day in the studio, I increased my frequency to my local gym. Although my early motivation to workout stemmed from my unwillingness to let go of my skinny dreams, the more I frequented the gym, the further away those ideologies fell.
In their place came happiness, strength and confidence. Suddenly my boobs were a gift, my 'chunky' thighs gave me strength, and I was finally regaining love for my physique. My body was no longer a separate entity to be punished and abused, it was me, and I was it, and it needed to be loved.
Despite recovering from my eating disorder, finding my love for food again and qualifying as a Personal Trainer, it still took a further five years to launch The Petite PT. Self doubt, fear of 'looking stupid' and a negative internal dialogue kept me from launching into the online space.
It wasn't until 2015, that I found a new sense of confidence and independence after booking a one way plane ticket and travelling through Australasia and Asia solo for almost two years. For anyone thinking of travelling, do it!! Seeing the world is more educational than any college or university class. By being exposed to new places, people and cultures, you’ll develop a wider world view and it will almost certainly change what you want to do, and who you want to be in this life. Travel is truly one of the most rewarding and humbling of experiences.
After settling on the Sunshine Coast Australia, I launched into the blogosphere in late 2016 with the 42 Day Reset; an earlier version of the now 28 Day Reset which has been updated and revamped across almost 2 years - forever the perfectionist! In late 2017 I moved to Canberra, and launched my brand The Petite PT. At a tiny 5ft nothing, its not uncommon to be referred to as "the little one" so the name just kinda fit.
And here we are today.
I have truly been touched and humbled by people’s reaction to my social media and my career in the fitness industry. There is nothing more rewarding than sharing your own story and being told it helped empower someone else to escape the negative place that so many young girls and women can find themselves in.
I have also found a purpose: To help others find love for their bodies again and to find balance in a healthy lifestyle. I want to motivate others to be healthy, fit and confident by being an example of someone who makes her health a priority while still living a fun balanced life!
And most importantly, to remind women that there is so much more to life than how you look. I have decided to dedicate my life to health and fitness but for many, it should only be 10% of your day - stop worrying about your weight, and go be the badass woman I know you are.
The world is yours for the taking.